Let’s review President Obama’s foreign policy achievements so far.

  • The prime minister of our staunchest and most important ally received from the Obamas, upon his visit to the states, the following heartfelt gift:  a complete boxed set of “Star Wars” DVDs.  Apparently, Costco was plum out of Joe Bob’s Barbeque Sauce.  No matter.  Gordon Brown, who – it is widely known – loathes seeing movies anyway, can use them for coasters.
  • Mr. Obama’s new policy of “openness” toward Iran made such a profound impression upon the lunatic Mahmoud Ahmadinejad that he delivered a rather open speech of his own at a United Nations anti-racism conference (no, the U.N. has no sense of irony), which included the following conciliatory remarks:

After World War II, they [the western powers] resorted to military aggression to make an entire nation homeless on the pretext of Jewish suffering, and they sent migrants from Europe and the United States in order to establish a totally racist government in the occupied Palestine…they helped bring to power the most cruel and repressive racist regime in Palestine.

  • Defying 233 years of American protocol, forged in the blood of our countrymen after our split from Great Britain, the President of the United States bowed before a foreign king, and a Middle Eastern potentate at that.
  • Mrs. Obama hit it off so well with Queen Elizabeth that she placed her hand on the Queen’s back while chatting her up.  Unless you were born and raised at McMurdo Station, you are aware that touching the Queen is something that one simply does not do.  The White House Protocol Department jumped right on this, however, and vowed that any future contact with foreign royalty would involve absolutely no touching whatsoever.  Only bowing.
  • Mr. Obama’s visit with the socialist tyrant Hugo Chavez included a friendly handshake and cheerful acceptance of a copy of Open Veins of Latin America:  Five Centuries of the Pillage of a Continent, an anti-American book written by a leftist ideologue, who blames the United States for the chronic and often colossal failures of basket-case Latin American countries like Mr. Chavez’s Venezuela.  Obama defended the handshake and the gift by saying, “It was a nice gesture to give me a book. I’m a reader.”
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